Verbal Attacks Response
Verbal attacks response. We all have those days when someone doesn’t like what you have to say. In the moment when being verbally attacked its hurtful, negative, accusing, blaming, judging and criticizing. Typically verbal attacks are yelling and screaming. Even today with texts and emails you could be verbally attacked. The words typed are being sarcastic and capitalized that emphasizes the words, etc. Initial responses could be to react or be defensive. In the moment of reacting we could retaliate and have the other person feel as we are in the moment too.
Does this help the situation to be reactive? How could we respond versus be reactive.
It doesn’t help to be reactive you are being just like the attacker. At the moment we also go into defensive mode and give our best shots. We want them to feel as we are too. In truth nothing gets resolved and many hurtful things could be told.
Yelling or screaming is overbearing, pushy, and manipulative. No one deserves this behavior from another. People yell and scream thinking they will be heard or you will listen better and submit to their viewpoint. It’s actually offensive. The person yelling or screaming is triggered within them and is reacting.
LISAonthego was verbally attacked and due to practice did the following: In the moment she stops listening to the other person. In the moment she realizes it doesn’t matter what she says and this will end in a no-win circumstance. She then quiets her mind, breathes and quickly analyzes what is being said. Again, to react or respond in this moment doesn’t help. When things quiet down she tells the person she needs to process and walks away. LISAonthego chooses to walk away, calm down because being yelled and screamed at goes right through her.
(video of blog below the text)
In her opinion walking away gives her the power of loving herself. Depending upon the situation it could take time to calm down. Once calm she goes within and tries to understand the other persons words, she doesn’t have to accept them but wants to understand them. LISAonthego says most arguments are from not being understood. Once she has had the time to process now she could respond calmly. At this point the other person is calmer too and more opened to converse calmly.
LISAonthego then has choices, she could either approach the topic again at a later time or not.
There have been times when LISAonthego has chosen not to converse again. Her feelings are if the other person is stuck in the mud on their viewpoint, in the “I am so right mind”. Then nothing could be resolved. LISAonthego will talk it out when there is win-win situation. Example: You have a fender bender the person runs a red light, hits your car and blames you. In the moment or after nothing is going to change. They believe their story. No matter what is said or how it is said they feel the way they do. No point in trying to talk.
We always have choices. Yelling or screaming doesn’t resolve anything it is the emotion of fear. Responding not reacting works. In actuality disagreements are resolved when both people are calm, listening to the other and understanding them. Again, not accepting the others viewpoint but understanding them.
First utmost at all times is to love you, take of care you and be in your own power.
Have a great day! Love, Laughter & Peace, LISAonthego
#Be understood, not accepted in what you say, # react vs respond, #win-win, #empower you, #love, laughter & peace