Selfish – LISAonthego’s definition – taking care of your daily needs
Sell-fish-LISAonthego’s definition – your daily care is all about you
LISAonthego says we all need to be selfish in our lives but how far is your selfishiness?
Selfishiness is taking care of your daily needs examples: showering, bathroom, hair style, makeup, eating/cooking properly etc. sure they’re many more things we could do for ourselves however not at the expense of others. Meaning they could be important for you however life could have other plans, for example: taking care of children, going to work, commitments etc.
This is where scheduling in what is important to us is important example: meditating, exercising, shopping, entertainment etc. Making you important and taking care of you along with your other commitments.
Sell-Fishiness is you come above all else. You do what you want and not what needs to be done. When you aren’t getting what you want you are nasty, sarcastic and criticize everyone else. In addition, you are so caught up in your own life, fitting it all in that everyone else is an annoyance. Your focus is on your objectives and when you are with others, your focus is on you and your objectives. Life is about you. When you feel like getting out of your shell and doing or focusing on others, you make it well known. These could be normal everyday chores for most people and yet you have a way to twist these and sell your good graciousness to feel good about you.
Most people don’t recognize this as themselves or others, or know how to verbalize it. LISAonthego has been in the presence of several sell-fishiness people recently. She is now able to verbalize and write about these qualities because she L.I.D.E. (label, identify, describe the emotion). https://spiritualfitnessonthego.com/lisaonthego-lide/ it. She couldn’t understand why she felt the way she did after being with these types of people. After being in their presence she would feel bad about herself, like she did something wrong and after thinking about it that it had nothing to do with her. So, she L.I.D.E. her feelings, she labeled it to: that she felt insignificant, inferior and worthless, she identified it to: insecure and humiliated and then she described the emotion to: fear and anger. Now from the L.I.D.E. method she now understands what she is specifically feeling so she is aware of these feelings that it is not her and nothing she did and to avoid, deter herself from these people.
Have a great day. Love, Laughter & Peace, LISAonthego
“Love isn’t something we invented. It’s observable, powerful, it has to mean something… Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.”
A line from the movie Interstellar –
LISAonthego watched the movie Interstellar this past weekend and this line has her been her mind and she been contemplating.
LISAonthego agrees and disagrees with this line. She disagrees because she doesn’t feel love is the only the emotion we come with. Most of our emotions and needs we are born with and these are innately inside of us. LISAonthego says it is activated by our hearts and our feelings. This is our spiritual heart minds.
Our ego minds are learned they give us our judgements and interpretations with no true answers. It wreaks havoc in our lives. The one lesson we all have here on earth is to listen within to our hearts and to stop the stories/dramas in our lives and be at peace. Much easier said than done. However, LISAonthego ego’s chattering mind has gotten her into more conflicts than she wishes to recall. The ego mind is awesome at recollection on her life’s events and reminds her of the things she has learned.
What is the EGO - the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and mediates between the person and external reality.
the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/ego
LISAonthego agrees with these definitions.
We all contemplate why we are here on earth, what is the meaning. Most things here on earth are learned. LISAonthego says our ego minds learns and then communicates and teaches us to express. Our emotions and feelings we come with these are innate within each of us. It is who we are.
In conclusion, the line LISAonthego agrees with in addition to our feelings and emotions that are innate within each of us. “Love isn’t something we invented. It’s observable, powerful, it has to mean something… Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.”
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LISAonthego finds this short video fascinating and loves learning other cultures. These people live in huts on the water; and houseboats for their lives also a distance from land. LISAonthego starts to ponder this culture and is awestruck. Imagine the requirement needed for survival is so limited that money and material items are not valued. What appears to be valued is relationships, how to get along, work as a team and be who you are.
BAJAU PEOPLE posted by UNB Facts (this is picture the video is below the text)
Why does LISAonthego think our way of life is the only way? Its all she has known. Her life has been based on money and material items its what she needs for her survival in her world.
In truth our lifestyle of money and material items makes life easier, not happier. We all want more, want more money, a better car, a better home, the finer things in life.
What would it be like to know you have all that you need? All of your basic needs are met, yes in our minds we may have standards of what this is, however the Bajau appear to have all that they want or need. There isn't anything more they want. Then, what is the focus on life? Is there a focus on life? Imagine the relationship dynamics, are they different than ours? Are there roles?
That is the true question to ponder, what makes her happy? How does she obtain happiness? Is one culture better than another in self fulfillment? Are other cultures easier in learning who we are?
So many questions? How others live and what is important in there lives? Does any culture or existence on Earth have it easier or better than another? What do you think?
What are you in charge of these days? You are in charge of your home, the children and the peace in your life. Yes this is much easier said than done.
First it is so easy to react. What parent doesn’t react in the home? Typically, children are not great listeners for chores or for what they don’t want to do or hear. Great news you are not alone and haven’t been for centuries.
How are you in charge when no one listens and you are reacting and not responding?
First, what is reacting? Reacting is a negative reaction to an event or comment. You may yell, scream, jump and down, punch a wall, go drinking, go shopping etc. This is a tough concept to understand and no one; yes no one could make you react. This is a choice.
No one could physically make you react, make you yell, make you punch a wall. It’s you doing it.
Yes we could have triggers that activate our reactions buttons within us. Yes, the family knows our trigger points and what sets us off to react. Children are smart they do this as a diversion or to redirect your focus on to something else and not what is happening or to be addressed in the moment.
The family now in a reacting pattern, nothing seems to work and you are reacting to everything. LISAonthego has been here and the more she reacted the more of the same stories and dramas existed.
She had enough and finally learned to respond. Responding is being in a calm space, talking, expressing clearly and detailed, being non-emotional and talking from your heart.
First she took the people affecting her life that was triggering her and would visualize a moment that she remembers them in a good moment. A moment she would smile at the memory that made her heart sing. Then she keep the memory and visualize them in that moment and made them smaller in her mind and smaller, once small enough she brought them to her heart and surrounded them with love and consciously visualized them in her heart and surrounding them in love. No other thoughts, no reactions, the goal just love them, let the negative energies surrender and see them for there pure essence of who they are.
Our ego mind chatters keep talking and criticizing the person. The ego mind keeps saying but, but; what about? Are you kidding me? Seriously? You know you are so right; you are the parent and know you are right about everything occurring that you are now reacting and continually having emotions showing you that you are so right. Does this bring peace to you and your family, balance or grounding?
Trust LISAonthego she was so right, here is the proof, everyone could see, however, she was being reactive. Did you ever notice when someone is so right they are reacting by: being angry, yelling, hands waving, commanding, demanding etc. So, yes LISAonthego was so right and yet reacting. (Tough lesson to recognize so she could change, so much easier to say than to follow through with the action of responding. This has made a huge difference in her life too.)
So again, just love them and keep-loving them from within your heart.
Within a few days just loving them, LISAonthego found her peace and then chose to respond.
Hard to believe this actually worked and had a domino effect on the children. This alone, loving from within changed in LISAonthego’s family and life.
LISAonthego found some peace; this action was enough for the people she was loving to change some too. Wow this is incredible. In truth its not about them its about you. Being so right, you are not in your peace being reactive you aren’t in your peace.
In fact you have a choice not to react and to respond. By responding it gives you peace and knowing you have choices. When moms and dads are reactive and learn to respond then they could have peace in the home, structures, routines and stay consistent, things tend to run more smoothly.
When the family is triggering you and you start to be reactive, count to ten, get out of your ego talking chatter mind, walk away and patiently plan your next move. Remove yourself till you could respond. Maybe just sit down for a time out and whatever is taking place in the room in the moment, is taking place, as long as no one is being hurt or in danger, take a deep breath and go within and just sit down. LOL this is an action your family will look at you, you just changed the energy and even enough that could calm things. In a moment, or two or several you could decide how to handle what is going on by responding.
Responding for a parent could be in a soft and yet commanding voice and being centered in their plans. If the behavior is a pattern then set goals, if you do this, then this will happen and if you do this then this will happen. You are responding and everyone knows the rules. Here is an example: lets take a teen. They refuse to do their chores and being defiant. LISAonthego would say your choice, however know the next time you want something and LISAonthego’s teens always would want a ride somewhere. She would say you are refusing to do your chores one of your next rides (LISAonthego’s choice on which ride) is not going to be available. LISAonthego always would give rides to appointments and team sports. This about you and your child, don’t penalize others to proved a point. However when they would want a ride to the stores, town, mall, friends etc. this is where she held the grounds and refused that next ride. It worked and everyone knew the rules, they were clear, specific and detailed.
Mom and dad, are you in charge!Yes! Good luck and have a great day. LISAonthego
#respond, #react, #who is in charge, #you are responsible for you and your actions, #no one could physically make you do something, #choices, #LISAonthego
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